I found out something one day, something very deep and personal. I was going to draw something, and I had no problems with that…until someone asked could they see it. I got agitated, mumbling every excuse under the sun to reach a no. And then I saw it, the only thing that changed was my thoughts of being ‘judged’ on how the drawing was. So I looked deeper, and deeper…until I realised my upbringing was judged often, and in fact it wasn’t even the ‘judging’ but the rejection I felt because I was being treated in some way to make me feel so badly about myself. That feeling of being unloved because I felt I wasn’t good enough.

There are a million ways to that place, but all come back to that last sentence. See those actions from where they truly come from and in that understanding we can let them go. It is the thoughts of a child carried on into adult hood…until we understand. And realise it was only ever those feelings of not being good enough, being unloved, that we think we are that person and those doubts ever coming with us. Until we understand it was only ever that person we loved and looked up to who treated us this way…felt exactly the same way and mirror what they too had been taught in ‘their’ upbringing from their hurt.

The next time we get into a distressed state or argument…stop…and say ‘I love you’. Regardless if its your partner, child or the milkman. Usually the shock brings silence, but even if it doesn’t…you have stopped ‘you’ from following your inner child’s fears. Broken a lifetime of reaction to this or that…and begun a new journey. Something so much free’er and healing…and a truth that we push down, now allowed out in a new light to play.

Ahem…but just be careful around the milkman for a while 🤣❤️🙏